


Talk to Me

by mousaerato



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Accents, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Incest, Memories, Sadstuck, Talking, Voice Kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-09
Updated: 2012-10-09
Packaged: 2017-11-15 23:17:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/532859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mousaerato/pseuds/mousaerato
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jade never thought she'd hear her grandpa's sweet voice ever again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Talk to Me

                When it came time to meet the post-scratch versions of their guardians, John and Jade struck up an agreement: they would each take time with their respective grandparent first before meeting in a group. John had a lot of questions about the woman who, in his world, he accidentally _killed,_ and Jade, while having more time to process Grandpa Harley’s passing, still had more memories – direct and indirect – of him than John and his Nanna’s post-scratch self, Jane, had of each other.

                She understood that her penpal Jake wasn’t _truly_ her grandfather; she knew that for him, _she_ was in fact the older custodian. Still, Jade felt a tugging sense of obligation to the man who raised her to make him proud. She excused herself to one of the rooms in John’s house where the two of them had been staying and examined her reflection in a mirror, double-checking the outfit she had chosen. Jade used to call her grandpa a bag of wind for his lectures, yes, but there was one note of his that always stood out in her mind: _"Jade, study hard and keep your rifle at the ready. When adventure summons, I know you will rise to the task and take your rightful place among the DAUGHTERS OF ECLECTICA."_

Jade wondered how much her grandpa knew of the game, its consequences, of what she would do and become. Regardless, she was thankful for the time he spent teaching her to shoot, and after saving _multiple planets,_ she certainly thought he would agree that she had joined the ranks of grandpa’s beauties. He would have been proud, she thought, to see her grown up, a skilled markswoman, clothed in the same sun-bleached blue as the women she thought of as her “big sisters” as a kid. Jade had managed to find a way to replicate her old “dress of eclectica” and using her ability to manipulate space, fixed it to fit her frame. She was taller now by a few inches (not counting the addition of Bec’s ears), and while still thin, she had filled in and looked much more like a woman than a girl. The blue, ruffled and bilayered skirt came to her knees, and the blue top with black long sleeves suited her more now than ever, with the slight modification she had made to the neck. She had altered it to show a little more of her neck and some of her collarbones. It was a cute look, and while she certainly liked her hard-earned Witch of Space garb, she found it a little intimidating (as well as overplayed). She just hoped he wouldn’t be too frightened of her new ears; his grandmother most definitely didn’t have those.

                Jade spent a few more minutes brushing her hair and adjusting her large, round glasses, making sure they weren’t off-center or smudged. She parted her mane of thick, jet-black locks, finding that a part slightly off-center looked most fitting. When she found a stray hair, she took some spit into her hand and stuck it back to her temple. She thought Space powers would give her perfect control over her hair – even gods have their worries, she guessed. Sure, it was slightly out of character for her to be this concerned about her appearance, but this wasn’t really for Jake – it was for the last bit of her grandfather that existed in this or any world. She missed him – he was simply the most amazing man she ever knew.

                He was a brilliant inventor, an exemplary marksman, and despite his antiquated “adventurer” outfit and endearing moustache, he was a man of wisdom. Jade knew he earned it the hard way through his travels across the world, along with his accent. She was never entirely sure where in the world it was from! Grandpa had set up several machines to help Jade to learn English before he died, but none of the recorded women or even the men came close to what _he_ sounded like. His voice was gentlemanly, yes, but underpinned with a kind of _ruggedness_ and protectiveness Jade could never find in anyone else’s speaking tones. He tended to pepper his speech with words she never heard her friends say; she was sure that either he read the dictionary for fun, or that maybe he picked those particular phrases up from his travels. His cadence was at times exaggerated, making him sound like a hyperbolized stereotype. It was actually cute, from what Jade could remember, especially when he would tell her stories from his trips. And the accent! Jade still wasn’t sure where he picked up that particular configuration of vowel pronunciations. Grandpa’s voice was unlike anything else she had ever heard. Although she had grieved losing him, Jade often wished she could hear his voice again, hear one more story as she fell asleep.

                She heard a knock on the door downstairs and knew it was Jake. He was dressed as he normally was, khaki shorts, t-shirt, and green jacket, with his rather plain dark hair and glasses that framed his dark green, almost emerald-colored eyes. He stood waiting, fighting back the desire to knock again, and wondered what she would be like, sound like, look like. The last memory Jake had of his dear Grandma English was dragging her lithe, lifeless form to the fire, cremating her. It was a sight – and scent – he never forgot, seeing the steel-gray, long hairs burn. Thankfully, he covered her wizened, wrinkled face with them so he wouldn’t have to watch her skin char and turn black in places as she became an ashy heap of powder and bones. The thought of seeing her again was intimidating, knowing what she had become.

                When Jade descended the stairs and opened the door, both she and Jake felt a shock unlike anything either of them had experienced: a combination of fear, bewilderment, joy, and curiosity that coalesced into wide eyes and stammering attempts at speech. Jade felt a twinge of disappointment as well as relief; although Jake had the same hairstyle and eye color as Grandpa, he lacked the facial hair, wrinkles, or wisdom in his eyes. He also was a few inches shorter than her guardian, she noticed; he still had a few years to grow to his full height.  He certainly looked like the kind of guy who went for hiking trips and excursions – in good physical shape, definitely. Still, he lacked the kind of cultured air that Grandpa had about him. Jade wasn’t sure how she felt – part of her hoped for her grandpa, but another part knew she might not respond well to it.

                Likewise, Jake’s mind was full of swimming, rapidly-changing thoughts: _She’s alive dear god she has dog ears why is that a game construct jiminy Christmas look at her hair it’s black as pitch and it’s not pulled up into a bun wow it’s so long and her skin isn’t wrinkled and her eyes aren’t lined with crow’s feet and my god her dress is blue I’ve never seen grandma in blue she’s beautiful and she doesn’t smell like sulfur or ash or burned flesh she’s alive and your age and she’s smiling at you say something!_

                “Uh, I can call you Jade, yes?” Jake extended a nervous hand to her.

                “Of course!” she beamed back, shaking his hand in response before embracing him lightly.

                “Oh,” Jake offered, voice disoriented by the gesture. “Well, I…guess this kind of greeting’s more on par given our particular circumstances, yes?”

                When Jake brought his hands around Jade to reciprocate the hug, she buried her face into his chest and listened to him speak, head absolutely reeling. His skin had the same scent of gunpowder and earth, though without the traces of something smoky – Jade’s sense of smell improved upon inheriting Bec’s traits, and she concluded the volcano where he lived must not be active. That wasn’t the most startling thing about him, though…

                “So, Jade…I’m not quite certain what I, your grandfather – blast, how do the mechanics of this game even _function—_ I’m not sure what appellation you’ll find suitable, but most of my compatriots call me Jake.”

                It was _his_ voice. Sure, it was 30, 40, maybe 50 years younger, not as deep or rich like a well-aged wine, but the intonation, the word choice, the _accent_ …it was Jade’s grandfather, not a machine or recording playing in her ears. She felt herself trust him, feel comfortable with him speaking, and without thinking about it, she gripped him tighter as Jake continued to talk, still disoriented and confused himself.

                “But, gosh, I guess you…already have called me that, given our missives…I mean, what did you call me before, Jade?” Calling her by her first name in person still struck Jake as foreign and almost disrespectful. She wasn’t some disembodied entity anymore – she was a _person_ now, and the fact that she was in some way still his _grandmother_ couldn’t leave his mind, despite the fact that this young woman was most definitely not the hardened, brutal realist with a heart of gold. Jake missed her, yes, but there was something about Jade  -- maybe her kindness, her openness, her youth, or something else – that made Jake want to be particularly protective of her.

                “Your last name was even different here,” she replied, finally looking up at him and breaking the hug. It had gone on for too long anyway.

                “Oh? I suppose your surname isn’t English, then.”

                “Nope! Harley.” Jade was chipper, yes, but still shaken by how uncanny the similarities were between Jake and Grandpa’s voices.

                “ _Halley?_ Wait, sorry. Harley. Jade Harley…I rather like it, actually.” Jake looked down past the waves of dark hair and could see the light blue of her outfit, how it clung to her frame and how lovely she looked in it. Did she know? Did she wear this on purpose?

                “Jake English suits you, I guess.” He wasn’t Hass Harley, no. Jake Harley sounded foreign, too. Maybe it was best that his name had changed, too.

                “Right. So, should we go inside, then?”

                “Oh! Yes, of course!” Jade showed him inside, offering him a small piece of cake that Nannasprite had made. He happily accepted, taking a seat next to Jade on the small couch where she and John had played many video games. She assumed he and Jane must have walked elsewhere during their discussion.

                Jake’s gaze was unnerving to Jade, but he couldn’t help it. The last memories he had of Grandma English were so unsettling and painful that to see her – was Jade really her, in the truest sense? – so animated, so vibrant and full of life was still jarring. She was beautiful. Was that okay to think? He was sure part of it was simply being happy to see her again, but the confusion over if their encounter truly was a “reunion” complicated matters.

                Jade eventually noticed his gaze and felt compelled to push the topic. “Is something wrong?”

                Her words shook him from his trance. “Do forgive me for staring. It’s just…you’re actually here, all in one piece.”

                Her expression softened, confused and concerned. “Your grandmother is dead, I know.”

                “She was murdered.”

                Jade never considered herself good at consoling anyone, but she felt a need to try. “Jake, I’m sorry,” she offered, letting herself get closer to him. He seemed conflicted about the proximity between the two of them.

                “Found her lying on the ground with holes in her. It’s nice to see her – you – alive and well.”

                She smiled, knowing she could give him at least some good news. “I won’t be dying any time soon, Jake. God Tiers are essentially immortal.”

                He looked relieved, allowing himself a slight smile that showed his large front teeth. “So, ah, Jade…I take it your team of friends did well in your game, eh?”

                “We all ascended, yes, but it looks like we need to help you and your friends!”

                “Well, we’re certainly going to need as much help as we can get. Roxy, Dirk, and Jane are all down to their dream selves. And me, well…”

                Jade quirked an eyebrow in interest; it was strange hearing their guardians _names_ , instead of simply their relations. “Well?”

                “Apparently someone killed me in my sleep. My dream self, I mean. So, this is all that’s left of me,” he joked. The lightheartedness about his own mortality made Jade uncomfortable. Seeing him there in the flesh made her never want to lose him again. She didn’t want to imagine not being able to hear that voice again, the one she was so fortunate to have ring in her ears now.

                “How about another topic?” Jade offered, hoping to keep him in conversation.

                “Certainly, if you wish!”

                “Is there anything I can answer for you? Like, about our session, about the game, about me?”

                “Actually, there is something…” Jake was nervous, flustered. “I hope this isn’t too intimate of a question.”

                “Psh. Come on!”

                “The…ears. On your head. Are those—“

                “Oh! Yeah, they’re mine.”

                “How exactly? Is that a game construct, a convention for everyone?” Jake asked, obviously concerned that his own appearance would change. He had heard that “ascending” earned a player some ridiculous pajamas, but a physical change was a little much!

                “My circumstances were different, but I inherited some traits from my dog. Long story.”

                Jake was fascinated still by Jade’s appearance. It was novel and yet familiar, and the ears didn’t detract at all from the kind of confidence and poise she carried. Those traits certainly reminded him of his grandmother, but still, the youth and _blue_ outfit, of all things, made him want to regard her as someone else. She wasn’t _truly_ Grandma English – she was Jade Harley, after all – and the difficulty reconciling the two gave him pause when the contradictions managed to surface in his mind.

                Jade was relieved and excited to hear Jake’s voice again when he asked, tentatively extending a hand to the top of her head, “May I touch them?”

                Jade nodded, telling him “Sure” as she leaned into him, lowering her head to his touch. Jake felt at the warm, velvet-like ears, running the pads of his fingers along them – wow, they were _really dog ears_. A bit unwittingly, Jake began to _pet_ her, right behind the ears at the top of her head, lazily appreciating the soft hair that surrounded them.

                Jade began to relax, happy and contented; while she may not have inherited every trait from Bec, her ears were still sensitive. The sensation of being petted put her at ease and made her sleepy – especially if it was someone close to her. John had asked once during their three-year trip, and while his giggles and experimentation made her tense, Jake’s sincere curiosity left her at ease.

                Jake was astounded to see that Jade had closed her bright green, almost glowingly verdant eyes and rested her head against his chest, able to feel his heart beat and the have the sound of his every word echo in her ears. He was tempted to stop, to wake Jade from her half-slumber and let her readjust herself back to a standing position, but here she was, a kind and brilliant lady (from everything they discussed in their letters as penpals, he knew her to be a genius), all blue and blissful and peaceful…

                “Jake,” a hazy voice offered. “Talk to me.”

                Jake continued petting at her ears, trying to find why it was that he was so conflicted. There was nothing wrong, necessarily. “About what, exactly?”

                “Anything,” she responded, voice tinier and weaker. “Boats…traveling...”

                Jake took a deep breath and scoured his memories, realizing what it was that Jade wanted. His hand eventually found its way around her shoulder, bringing her in closer to him, letting her know she was safe, that her vulnerability was okay. Tell the girl a story. Tell the blue beauty a tale.

                “Well then, ah…boating?”

                “Mmhmm.” She loved hearing Grandpa Harley’s accent, that particular, one in a billion _voice_ , even if it only was in murmurs and small statements. It made her feel at home, it made her feel safe, and although she was always bright and cheerful, it made her _happy._ Happier than she was on a regular basis. She missed it, missed him, and wanted more as she remembered him staying up and talking to her when she was young.

                “Right. I recall a few ships being near the island when I was very small – grandma and I lived kind of on the lam in the middle of nowhere, you know – they were very quiet, clandestine kinds of rendezvous since she’d been run out of business and out of favor…” Jake realized he was letting his fingers draw circles against the blue fabric covering her back, but Jade seemed so comfortable that he was afraid to stop. She needed this, and although he missed his grandmother and wanted her back, too, he believed that ladies should always come first in whatever their needs. This is what she needed; anything else would have to wait.

                He simply was not sure, exactly, what the exact circumstances of their current arrangement meant. It certainly wasn’t what he was expecting. Still, every few words earned a content hum from Jade, and the proximity of her head pressed against him made those hums resonate through his chest. Maybe that was why he felt so warm. Regardless, Jade seemed right at home and happy being held by him, so Jake didn’t want to do anything to risk that. He would do anything to see the last bit of _her_ happy and alive.

                Her voice was definitely closer to sleep than waking when Jade asked him, “Tell me about your trips…”

                “My trips? I mean, _of course,_ my trips…” He didn’t know what to say, but he knew he needed to speak softer, lest he’d break whatever level of comfort she had found. He tried to find the right words, voice just above a whisper, “This was…before I knew you, I had decided to search for something rare, dangerous, exciting…”

                “Was this on your boat?” Jade’s voice was anemic, soft. She knew she could trust him like nobody else, and there was a sudden new feeling mixed with that trust. Something about the way he felt against her – muscular and vital – urged her to get closer to him.

                “Yes, of course.” His reply earned him a hand, bony and soft, interlocking between the hand he had resting on the couch. Jade moved her head enough to be closer to his heart.

                Jake continued, uncertain how to navigate exactly what was happening. “I was out on a trip, to a distant place untouched by people for generations upon generations…”

                He wasn’t sure what he was saying. Jade smiled into his shirt, body seemingly drained of stress as he spoke. She looked so peaceful. Jake had an idea, a sudden jolt of inspiration, and decided to use it in his story.

                “But I was alone,” he said. He wasn’t sure why this thought was coming to him, why he was using it now. Maybe it was from a movie he had watched and fallen asleep hearing – maybe it was a memory from grandma. “And I hoped every day to meet a shipmate.” He brought his hand from her shoulder back up to stroke her hair. “And by a miracle, I…”

                Jake stopped, voice trailing off, to look at the woman in his arms. She was practically in his lap now, resting next to his thigh and letting her torso fall against his, head turned to the side as he ran his fingers through her hair. Jade sleepily held his other hand in her own, savoring each syllable, the way his voice vibrated through him and shook her skin, the way it warmed her heart and made her feel at home, safe, wanted, and loved. With her eyes closed, it was like she was a kid again.

                When Jake took a second look at her hair, he swore he saw a solitary, steel-gray strand. It shocked him enough to bring his hand out of hers, bringing both hands back away. _What was he doing?_

“Jade,” he started, voice soft but certain. “I…I can’t.”

                She roused from her near-slumber, green eyes looking up to Jake’s face, slightly flushed and full of what Jade identified as _guilt._ Still, she was not entirely out of her daze, and only answered his statement with a confused buzzing noise, not even opening her mouth.

                “I can’t lie for you.” Jade began to straighten herself up, adjusting her position to return to sitting next to him. She was colder from the sudden loss of Jake’s touch and presence. She looked at him, bright green eyes gazing into emerald, and Jake strained to keep eye contact as he spoke.

                “I’ve never been off of my island, Jade.” He looked down when he saw Jade’s expression drop the smallest bit. She was always upbeat and positive, but the gravity of who he was – who he was supposed to be – was enough to hurt. “I know that he – I—“

                She cut him off, voice shaky and resigned. “It’s okay. I…expected too much. You’re not him. You don’t even have the same name as him, you’re not as tall as him, but…you sound so much like him…”

                Jake looked at Jade and swore her could see tears in her eyes. Maybe it was from waking up, maybe she was actually that upset, but he couldn’t let a woman be hurt while he was around. Almost automatically, he brought his hands to both sides of her face, thumbs skimming her cheeks. The feel of her skin – soft, smooth, elastic – was nothing like the woman he knew. Jade wasn’t her. She couldn’t ever be.

                Slowly and wordlessly, Jake brought his head downward, tilting it to brush his lips against hers -- a ghost of a kiss, faint and fleeting, barely connecting. Jade’s eyes opened more in shock, breath hitching quietly as her posture went rigid. He lingered there for a few agonizing moments, both of them seemingly frozen in time and confusion, aware of what was happening, but not its meaning or purpose.

                Jake saw Jade’s eyebrows shift downward, bright eyes now tinged with sorrow instead of disbelief, and backed away, shaking. He knew full well what he had just done, but knew nothing about why he had done so. Maybe it was too many movies, too many sources teaching him how to tend to a woman in distress, even if she is strong and brilliant. He looked at her, green eyes a beautiful contrast to the shade of blue she wore, and felt his mouth dry as he stammered, whispering: “I…I’m sorry, I just thought – it seemed like the ri—“

                Jade couldn’t look at him, opting instead to shift her gaze downward into her folded hands.

                “I’m an idiot, I-I-I should go,” he managed, voice scratchy and strained, and excused himself, walking hurriedly back to the door he had entered, making certain not be as quiet as possible and not ruin anything else today.

                Jade sat there, face reddening as he walked away. Part of her wanted for him to come back and talk again. To say something – anything – except goodbye. 


End file.
